|
Click here to
add this page to your favorites folder!
Counselling Jesus
A satire by Aramus Crane
Introduction
Many have written their thoughts about how Jesus would respond to what He would find if He returned to earth today, but I have wondered the reverse. If God had sent Jesus to earth to be a missionary in the 21st Century, how would people receive Him? Would the media cover His miracles and teachings? Would the jealousy and legalism of the Church leaders today be any less than that which motivated the pharisees to desire him killed? Would the politicians have stood up for him against the desires of the Church leadership or have him killed by lethal injection?
My career has given me limited contact with politicians. And common consensus seems to be that the left-leaning media would find little in common with someone "intolerant" enough to claim to be only Way, Truth, and Life. So, I found it much more interesting to imagine the reaction of the religious leaders, since I have had so much exposure to these that many have counted me among them. I don't go as far as to think that politicians or religious leaders today would have ended Jesus life via capital punishment. Amnesty International would probably intervene today. Granted, God's plan still would have been for Him to die for our sins. But that He would be any better accepted by Church leadership twenty centuries later is pure conjecture. There are enough religiously intolerant Jesus-bashers in the world today to find someone to perform a nice quiet assassination for the religious and political leaders. Prior to that, they probably would have given Him a friendly, helpful warning. Below is such a warning I imagined would come from hypothetical "fellow-servants" of God headquartered in politically-correct California. I can't claim total authorship, since many sentences are quotes from actual correspondence from mission employees.
The Board's Counsel for Jesus
August 8, 2004
From: Board of Directors, Mission Agency Concerned with the Propagation of God's Polity and Kindness
To: Jesus of Nazareth, son of Joseph and Mary
Greetings, grace, and peace in the name of our Lord God. The purpose of this memorandum is to encourage you in the nice things you have been doing for people and to bring to your attention the things that concern us about your ministry.
Our perception of your strengths
We have seen many things in your character and actions that are commendable, so in no way do we want to convey that things are beyond hope for correction and reconciliation. We, the board of directors, are sure that the problems are human oversights and areas where God is urging you toward spiritual growth.
Let's starting with your positive attributes. You have done great medical work, helping hemophiliacs, the blind, the mute, the lame, etc. These are areas of strength and indicate a real gift from God. Sure, there are areas of where we think you can improve. For instance, when you resolved the mental problems of "Wildman" Abrahamson, was it necessary to agitate Farmer Jacobson's pigs so much that they jumped into the lake? I'm sure, with time, you will perfect these minor flaws, and show greater respect for people's personal property. At the same time, we can't deny that the power of your works is incomparable with any of our other missionaries and shows that the Holy Spirit often moves within you. However, as you consider changing your focus from your humanitarian work to more public teaching, we want to alert you that this may not be where God has gifted you.
Our perception of areas where you need improvement
Specifically, what concerns us is your lack of political correctness that is so foundational to our modern culture. For instance, you told a crowd of believers that you saw more faith in an officer of our occupying forces than you did in them. (Luke, a member of your group writes about this on page 7, sentence 9 of his journal.)
The members of this Agency are concerned for your mental health and interpersonal development. Previously, you came to church where you have read from the Scriptures and asked very good questions. We continue to encourage your participation. However, when you leave the church, you seem intent on burning your bridges, saying things that are harmful to your chances of obtaining a management position among us Pharisees. You continue to provoke your supervisors and refuse their counsel, conducting your humanitarian work on days of rest. (Luke 6:1-11)
On the one hand, you commend us as not needing the spiritual doctor that those in other denominations so clearly need. (Luke 5:31) But, you follow this five sentences later with criticism of God's Church, proclaiming that you have some "new wine" that needs a "new wineskin" to hold it. It is unwise to burn bridges to God's movement on earth. We believe you should be more respectful of the established religion because your new movement will find little support among God's People. You seem to recognize this, saying "No one after drinking the old wine desires new." So, why do you continue to insist your Way is better?
A few days later, you called us "vipers". (Matthew 3:7) When we invited you to dinner, you came and ate, but you were totally insensitive to our culture to wash before dinner and called us fools, extortioners, and wicked. Then, your follower Luke writes about it for billions of people to read. It is probably how you see it but to us it seemed unfair and not altogether accurate and certainly not appropriate to put in a letter to people who know nothing of the situation. A simple "we were no longer in agreement" or something to that effect should have sufficed. Why deliberately trash the organization? What is truth for you may not be truth for others.
In an attempt to help you grow spiritually, we would like you to note that in addition to having personal conflict with your co-laborers, you often are impolite toward fellow lay believers. We encourage you to analyze your interaction with fellow believers in order to note other reasons why after 3 years of full-time ministry only 11 people are interested in your "new wine." We are willing to bet that even the revolutionary Barabbas has a greater following. Perhaps it is because your ministry location is not stable as you have wandered from town to town without our prior approval or even knowledge. Through your father Joseph, you are a fellow son of Levi, so you know how we have always done things. Please note in Scripture that from the time of Moses, God has given us religious leaders responsibility for all our missionaries, to ensure their safety and effectiveness in spreading His Word. In an attempt to help you grow, we would like you to note that in addition to having personal conflict with your co-laborers, you often are impolite toward fellow lay believers. For instance, it was not very nice to call the sons of Abraham an "evil generation." (11:29) We are humble enough to admit that nobody's perfect but we are sure you see far we have come in permeating our culture with Scripture, making this a nation founded on God's principles. Most even tie their verse cards to their heads for constant availability. We are the enlightened people of God. Of course, we can't strain out every gnat, but such words as "evil" only instigate conflict and burn bridges.
Please don't construe any of this to mean we don't like you or want God's best for you. You come from a long line of prominent figures in the Church, so we are sure you will bring them honor. Even if we have to part ways, we can still be friends and fellow co-laborers for God. We overlook your social faux pas and love you as a spiritual brother. We hope that you will humbly attend to the issues we have mentioned so that we don't have to call in the calvary. We hope that nothing we say or do will be a cross for you to bear.
Blessings in YHWH,
Your fellow-servants
Appendium: "Many people try to immitate Christ but it is a fact that when a monkey blows into a saxophone, it doesn't transform him into a musician. You can't immitate Christ, immitating his external behavior. It must be Christ doing it. Only then will you know what to do in a certain situation, according to your temperament, your character, and the temperament and character of the person to whom you are ministering. Nobody can tell you what to do. But, to be able to do it, you must be what Christ was. An exterior immitation will not get you anywhere." (De Mello A. Awareness New York: Doubleday, 1990. p. 106 Translated from Italian.)
There are many missionaries and pastors blowing into their saxophones. They think that Jesus whats a group of people smiling at one another, thinking that this is love and compassion. Jesus' example was different and he showed us that when the Musician lives in us, we will overturn some tables every once in a while. (Matthew 21:12) But, if someone spends most of his time burning bridges or overturning tables out of his own sadness or anger, he will not feel any better because he has the wrong motives. Instead of being led by Christ, he too is playing the monkey. Where the Lord is, there is peace and love even in the storm.
|
