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The Italians and Women

By Laurent J. La Brie
October 2003, Updated February 2006

Other Articles in the series "The Italian Side of the Bridge"
Ministry in Italy
Italians and Love
Flattery in the Italian Culture
Skepticism in Italian and Romanian Character
Italian and Romanian Economic Similarities
The Italians and Women
What Should We Expect for Italy?

Another common criticism of Italy is that Italy is a patriarchy. This was quite amusing to Tom Anghinetti, an American friend of Italian heritage. We often were entertained by our discussions with those who considered themselves experts, yet who had only seen Italy from afar or from one vacation there.

"Appearances, as always, are misleading. Men outwardly behave as if matters were permanently ordered according to immutable and unquestioned customs. Women are willing to play the role of second class members of humanity; they patently act as if the really were but fragile, docile and adaptable creatures. But behind the facade things are different. What is the truth? It would be imprudent and dishonest to generalize too sweepingly. There is not one reality but an infinite range of realities.... There is in Italy a neat and permanent division of prerogatives between the sexes. The man is the titular head of the household but by no means the absolute monarch. He is in charge of general policy... The wife is officially a subordinate figure, in charge of humbler duties, but her sphere is largely undetermined and wide-ranging.

"The arrangement gives no overwhelming authority to either. It gives the woman the greater moral responsibility. It is only thanks to her that households function smoothly. But the centuries have taught her to make her husband forget how important she effectively is. She usually manages things in a subtle, almost imperceptible, way; she assuages his feelings; she avoids open contrasts but generally has the last unspoken word.... Men run the country but women run men. Italy is, in reality, a crypto-matriarchy." (Barzini L, The Italians, New York:  Bantam Books, 1964. p. 201-202)

For decades, women have enjoyed greater pay equality in Italy when compared to their sisters in the US. Women are probably more appreciated not only at work but also in song. How many American songs can you name dedicated to 'mom'? Yet, in Italy, there are almost as many popular songs dedicated to momma as there are to a lover.

On their deathbeds, men most often call for their mothers. "Mamma mia!" and "Madonna!" are the most common expressions of disappointment or excitement.

Evangelicals often get their dander up when they see the level of honor given to La Madonna. Some is concern is valid since she is endowed with many more powers and given credit for many more miracles than she had and did while she was alive. However, some of the offense is probably because of the belief that females should not be the subjects of as much honor as males.

Surely, the Protestant lack of respect for women in general and Mary in particular is a canyon preventing many Catholics from accepting Protestantism. Even after (or perhaps, as Tom and I advocate, because of ) decades of Women's Liberation in the US, the Italian woman is put on a higher pedestal then her American counterpart.

The average Italian woman is busier than her counterparts in the rest of Europe. According to a 2003 survey by the Ipsa Institute of Rome, "Italian women not only spend at least eight hours a day at work, they do around 90 minutes of housework, are busy cooking for a further half-hour and dedicate at least 20 minutes each day to exercise or 'grooming.'" (http://abcnews.go.com/sections/world/DailyNews/italy010813_sex.html) This totals 10 or 11 hours a day, an hour more than in her neighbors on the continent and three hours more than in Scandinavian countries like Sweden and Finland.

Other Articles in the series "The Italian Side of the Bridge"
Ministry in Italy
Italians and Love
Flattery in the Italian Culture
Skepticism in Italian and Romanian Character
Italian and Romanian Economic Similarities
The Italians and Women
What Should We Expect for Italy?

Other Links
Italian Woman's Library
Italian Women Artists of the 16th and 17th Centuries