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The Dark Lonely
Tunnel of Trials
“You shall love your neighbor as
---Jesus Christ (Matthew 19:19)
necessary to the happiness of a man that he be mentally faithful to
“Never violate the sacredness of your individual
It takes no spiritual giant to deduce the correct response. It’s really
a matter of getting back to the basics. Love your neighbor. Respect
yourself. Of course, I proposed the person for promotion and the next
day my position was “downsized”. The way they did it was traumatizing.
My accusers could not say a single word against me and the university
was not interested in investigating the case. Perhaps as you read this,
you would like say to me, “It had nothing to do with you. Someone had
to be downsized and you were the junior member of the team.” You may be
right, but two lawyers who saw all the documents woke me from my
naiveté. They had seen the patterns before and correctly guessed
at what had happened and when. One told me that it was so clearly
racism that he wouldn’t even charge me if we lost. But, my proving
myself right would cost me my career. My decision was to react with
mercy. I have received no glory for my decision and even six years
later I still am questioned with suspicion why my position ended so
quickly after it was created. Truly, much as my earthly self would
prefer to receive some benefit, God was the sole recipient of the
This is all very easy to write
now, but it was a major trauma for me then. Any time I get called into
my boss’s office I go through something very similar to Post Traumatic
Stress Syndrome. Not wanting to stir up your sympathy, I’ll simply tell
you that this was one of the darkest periods of my life. Reality hit me
that all that I was told by my parents about the benefits of honesty and
hard work was rubbish. The support of two bosses, one human resource
agent, all my goals being met, and written policies and guidelines
could not prevent the end from coming. It was like being on a slide
down a dark tunnel, moving ever so slowly but uncontrollably away from
daylight and into unknown pitch black. I was entering Phase 3, when I
realized that I was totally unprepared and powerless. Only God would be
able to carry me and I wished He would carry me Home.
Point of Grace
Are you at the end of your rope? Are you feeling that you must violate
your self-respect and God-respect. Take heart. You may not sense it,
but you are in a spiritual upward spiral of glory.
© Aramus Crane 2001
that. Show me another one.
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